Creating an Adoption Book

Create an adoption book that gets attention.

The adoption profile book was probably one of the most stressful parts of the adoption process.  Sure we've done piles of paper work, been interviewed, had medical exams and been fingerprinted. But the profile book was the most frustrating!

I wish when we started the project that I could have found some simple steps to get started.  Mostly I found lots of examples of other people adopting and lots of snarky comments people made being critical of said books, and arguing what to say or not say. The comments ranged from whether or not to show wedding photos, to more useful things like whether you should use the term "your baby" or "our baby."  For the benefit of everyone, please know there is no right or wrong!  When I mentioned careful phrasing to a case worker at our adoption agency, she said "who cares?"  Then I knew I was getting bogged down in trying to anticipate what a birth mother is going through, and I think the only thing we can know for sure is that she's trying to do the best for her child. 

Here are the basic things I learned along the way, but I still wish I had known them in advance.

1.  It will take a LONG time so start early!  I wanted to get it done quickly so I could get it out there. I think it actually ended up taking about 8 weeks!  I didn't work on it daily, leave some time to take a break from it.  Luckily we were going through the home study process simultaneously, so we didn't lose time working on our books. We used SnapFish, but there are so many easy photo book Web sites, use what works best for you. It doesn't need to be professionally designed!

2. Jot down points you want to make...when you think of them. I kept a running list in an draft in my email, that way I could open it anywhere and type an idea into it. You may want to remember to add a fun tradition (we go to a movie the Wednesday before Thanksgiving every year). Or, your thoughts on education. 

3.  Map out what highlights you want to cover.  This will help you narrow down all the photos you need to collect, and help give you focus when you're looking at blank pages.  We focused on the following:

 - Introductory Letter

 - About our family and home

 - About my husband written by me, then about me written by my husband

 - About myself written by me, then about my husband written by my husband

 - About our daughter

 - Introduction of our dog

 - Brief descriptions of mine and my husband's families

 - Fun family traditions, focusing on things like movies, baseball games, pumpkin picking, etc.

 - Vacations

 - Our thoughts on parenting and openness

 - A letter about our family written by our daughter

 - A page to say thank you

4.  Show who you really are, not what you think they want to hear. This isn't Instagram you don't have to be perfect. Be honest and true to yourself. That said, we did put our best foot forward. We used nice family and fun vacation photos to tell our story. It's important to be yourself, however, for the best match for your family.  

5.  Decide how much you want to share publicly. I felt like we honestly talked about our parenting styles and who we are. When we were finished it felt personal and private. We chose not to share it and pass it around with family and friends. Which is why there are no pictures with this article! It was between us and the family that chose us. We had extra copies made for our daughters because it'll be special to them one day as well.

I know the popular saying is the devil is in the details, but I always say God is in the details. Your book doesn't need to be perfect. Be yourself and trust that the right family will be put in your path and your book will make it's way to the family that needs to see it most.